Brain Wads

View Original

How I am managing my own mental health in a stressful season

I don’t want to rely on a common response that many people use, but I’m not sure how else to express this.

I’ve been quite busy over the past few months; it’s been a lot to handle.

In July, I had the honor of being promoted to Senior Director of Marketing at Womble Bond Dickinson. This promotion meant that, instead of managing just our five-person digital team, I now oversee a team of 16 people, which includes content, design, and events. I am (and continue to be) grateful for this opportunity, but it has been a significant jump in responsibility.

Shortly after this role transition became official—I'm talking just a couple of weeks later—our firm began the process of merging with another AM Law Top 200 firm, Lewis Roca. This merge not only involves integrating their 200+ attorneys but also expanding our Client Development team by combining their marketing and business development staff with our own. As a result, my team’s headcount would continue to grow overnight.

Fortunately for us, our new Lewis Roca colleagues are awesome to work with and have made the integration much easier than what others may experience in similar situations. I'm grateful for that. Still, after having to work with our teams to rewrite a lot of content to reflect the new combined capabilities and publishing over 1,400 net new pages to our website, it's a lot.

Oh yeah, and there was our pre-planned Disney Cruise on the kids' fall break, Thanksgiving, Christmas with interstate travel, walking pneumonia, flu and kids' extracurricular activities sprinkled in there.

All good things! But even good things can be a lot.

I've reached the point of burnout a few times in my career, enough to recognize the early signs of hitting an unhealthy mental wall. This past Q4, I came close again. However, I’ve learned how crucial it is to maintain a healthier mindset—not just for myself, but also for my team at work and, most importantly, my family at home. They rely on me to be at my best, and that means prioritizing my mental well-being.

Over the past few weeks, I've been trying a few things to keep my mind sharp. These are simply approaches that are working for me right now. Some of them might be worth exploring for yourself, while others might not resonate—and that's perfectly fine! After all, we're all unique, and what works for me might not necessarily work for you.

Reading in the morning

For a good part of Q4, I was using the 5-6:30am hour to get ahead on work. Who am I kidding...it was to tread water and not get behind. However, I promised myself that it would just be a season and to eliminate that when I could. I'm sure my co-workers could also do without waking up to an inbox full of messages from me too.

I now carve that time out for reading and meditation. It looks a little different every morning but generally speaking I'll do some Bible reading, another book of some kind, sitting in quiet and sometimes getting into my Headspace app. It's an hour of my morning but it goes by faster than any hour of my day. Going into the day not scrolling my phone or checking my email helps me get in the right mindset and come out of a stage or rest instead of putting my brain in a frantic mode out of the gate.

Speaking of not scrolling my phone...

Deleted social media from my phone

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to step away from social media on a whim. Let me be clear—I’m not here to vilify it. Social media is undeniably a double-edged sword. Without it, I wouldn’t have maintained connections with old friends or built new relationships. My career, in many ways, owes much to its influence.

That said, the balance between its benefits and drawbacks had shifted for me. It was consuming too much of my attention and adding a mental burden I didn’t need. On top of that, with current events flooding every feed and everyone weighing in on everything, taking a break has been a relief. It’s been liberating to step back from forming immediate opinions or feeling the pressure to react to every situation. For now, the distance has offered clarity and peace of mind.

Exercise regularly

This isnt' a new ritual but one I've continued to maintain. With holiday diets and our family passing along sicknesses to each other, my fitness had fallen off a bit. It's coming back to a good place now though. I split my time between attending morning CrossFit classes after kid morning school drop-off and running, with some pickup soccer sprinkled in-between. I think it's great for your brain and, in my opinion, if your body builds a tolerance for handling physical stress, it's much more equipped to handle any emotional stress as it comes.

Talking to a therapist

I started using BetterHelp as a quick remote therapy session. I don't have particular traumas or things I specifically sought help for. In fact, a lot of times when I start a session with my therapist, I'm not sure what he and I are going to even talk about that day. But man, it does well to just get a load off your mind and get some outside input on whatever is going on. Our sessions are virtual too, so we usually do ours on a walk-and-talk as I walk through a wooded trail near our home. I'm not going to be one that says everyone should do it , and I'll probably only do it in seasons, but it's been helpful for me maintaining some sanity.

Mental health day at a monastery

Last week, I took a day off just for myself. It wasn't a vacation day or a day to tackle chores around the yard or house; it was purely a day for me to escape and be a little selfish with my time. I went for a long run, which turned out to be my best run of the year up to that point. Afterward, I made pancakes and spontaneously decided to visit a monastery in Conyers, GA. I had no specific plans or agenda for my time there. I felt as though God was nudging me, saying, "I'll meet you out there," so I just went. I didn’t even give my wife a heads-up before leaving; she was working from home that day. I simply sent her a quick text while she was on a call, saying, "Going to that monastery in Conyers, be back before dinner," and then I left.

It was hands-down the best decision I've made. I learned more about the monks there, the history of the monastery, and how it was built (fascinating stuff), and I got to attend a prayer service of theirs while I was there. After the service, I spent time in their cathedral all by myself, talking to God but also just sitting in silence. No phone scrolling. No running through my future to-do lists. Just sitting. I spent over an hour in that sanctuary and felt about 20 pounds lighter when I walked back to my car.

Spending time with friends

We're in a weird spot where loneliness is a bigger issue than it probably ever has been in human history. People are spending an increasing time away from each other. With life's other commitments, I get it. It's hard.

Having a consistent social circle has been essential for me. I’m part of a group chat with a few other guys where we support each other—some of us work out together and meet up for lunch once a month. I’m also in a small group of three men from our church; we meet weekly at a local pub to have meaningful conversations and dig deeper into each other’s lives. On top of that, I play in a recreational soccer league with church friends and join pickup games with other dads in our neighborhood.

It might sound simple, but building friendships and nurturing relationships in various social spaces has made a huge difference. In today’s world, it feels strange to emphasize this, yet it’s more important than ever. Far fewer people have access to this kind of community than we’d like to admit.

I have a lot I want to write more about now that I'm creating a little more margin. It's been several months since I've drafted anything. I've been busy but also learning a lot. I can't wait to share more. We're all in this together.