How You and I Just Lost the Game

It was summer of 2008 and I was sitting out on a rocking chair in the Smokey Mountains when one of my friends sitting next to me, for no apparent reason to me, blurts out "I just lost the game!" He is immediately followed-up by the other few guys sitting around us repeating "Dangit, I just lost the game."

Lost what game? Did I miss something? Did I win? What is this nonsense?!

I then asked the obvious question "What game?" The guys just smiled and explained to me The Game. One game that would obviously change my life forever.

Here's how The Game works. The object of The Game is to not think about The Game. If you do indeed think about The Game, you have to audibly say "I just lost The Game." Because you are conceding defeat outloud, the mere mention of The Game makes other players who may be around you think about The Game. Therefore, they lose the game and are all obligated to say themselves "I just lost The Game." It's a viscious cycle.

You may be asking yourself "How does one win the game?" That's the thing: you can't win the game. The only thing you can do with this game is not lose. Your only victory is a lack of defeat.

It sounds absurd. That's because it is. So you're thinking "This is stupid, I'm not playing this game." That's the thing about The Game. Once you know about The Game and the rules of The Game, you are automatically entered into The Game. Like the Hotel California, you can check in whenever you like but you can never leave. As a result of reading this post in its entirety, you are now entered into the game and the never-ending viscious cycle that comes with it.

I apologize.

And I just lost The Game.